...
Click for 50% off Meditation Courses
Call Us: 619-819-6841Request an Appointment
Call Us: 619-819-6841
A keyhole view revealing a vibrant green field under a sunny sky with clouds.

Your Perception, Your Reality

Internal World vs. External World

When you focus on your authentic potential you adopt the belief that your lens with which you view the world is the primary shaper of your reality.

  • Your external world predicts 10% of your well-being and potential.
  • Your internal world determines 90% of your well-being and potential.

When you learn how to effectively choose your lens, your perception of your circumstances, you change your ability to reach your potential.  Given that you have far more control over your internal world than your external world, this is the best place to raise your potential. We are specifically referring to your response to situations via your thoughts, emotions and actions.

Perceptions Are Your Interpretations

It has been said that we are meaning make machines overlaying our subjective interpretation onto everything we experience. We have the ‘know it all syndrome’ where we attempt to figure it all out before allowing ourselves to experience it, resulting in holding ourselves and others to the past. You have never been where you are in this moment now, yet your mind will find a way to make it familiar so that you think it’s the same. Even scientists would agree, true objectivity is virtually impossible. Great freedom comes when we acknowledge that our perception and interpretations have more to do with how we feel than the actual situations and circumstances in our life. Stress occurs when we place our interpretation on a situation, make up (assume) that it is the ‘truth or fact’ and then resist it!

For example:

Your boss emails you to request an important one on one meeting. Before the meeting happens you make up the following interpretations;

  • He is unhappy with your performance on your latest project.
  • The company is going through changes and you are going to get a demotion or cut in pay.
  • He has been watching your work ethic and believes you are not putting in enough effort.

 

You feel very certain that one of these interpretations must be correct. Nothing else makes logical sense to you. You make up that this is the truth or the fact regarding what he wants to talk with you about. You resist this interpretation in astonishment or feel upset that he would perceive you and your work in this way or that something negative is happening in the company. You make matters worse by talking with other co-workers to commiserate. You are sure to tell them what your boss is doing to you. They then search for evidence to validate this and commiserate with you.

Facts vs. Interpretations

What are the actual facts in this situation outside of your interpretations about it?

Your boss sent you an email requesting a one on one meeting. That’s it. This is all that occurred. Everything else is your interpretation.

Exploring your interpretations is powerful work. This brings you to the empowered place of self-responsibility. The key is to realize you are the common denominator in your life. Your perception drives your behavior. Start with owning your interpretations and navigating your way through other possibilities. In doing so you increase your control over your internal world and raise your potential. You can have fun with this by playing a game with yourself to see how many different interpretations you can come up with for different scenarios.

Play the Interpretation Game

  • Think about an issue in your life that you feel stressed or anxious about. With conviction come up with five different and compelling interpretations regarding this issue.

Coaching and Counseling

empower

Hilary Stokes Ph.D. and Kim Ward Ph.D. have been a team for 20 years, specializing in mind, body, spirit psychology. They are the authors of the bestselling books The Happy Map: Your roadmap to the habit of happiness and Manifesting Mindset: The 6-step formula for attracting your goals and dreams and founders of Authenticity Associates Coaching and Counseling. They are passionate about combining the best of holistic and traditional approaches to health and happiness. If you are interested in learning the answers to the most frequently asked questions on how to decrease stress and increase happiness sign up for their free video series.

About the Authors

headshot of Dr. Hilary Stokes, licensed psychotherapist

Hilary Stokes Phd

HIlary Stokes, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist in California with more than 25 years of clinical experience, specializing in trauma therapy, PTSD treatment, anxiety, depression, and nervous system healing. She holds Master's degrees in Clinical Social Work and Kinesiology and Sports Psychology and a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology with a specialization in Tibetan Buddhist Psychology. Dr. Stokes is extensively trained and certified in brainspotting, EMDR, somatic therapy and other mind body approaches. Her integrative work bridges neuroscience, mindfulness, and holistic psychology to help clients process unresolved trauma, rewire stress patterns, and build emotional resilience.

read more
headshot of Dr. Kim Ward, certified trauma-informed coach and life coach

Kim Ward Phd

Kim Ward, Ph.D. holds both a masters and a doctorate in Transpersonal Psychology with a specialization in Tibetan Buddhist Psychology. She brings more than 25 years of experience in trauma recovery, Brainspotting and mind-body transformation. She is extensively trained and certified in Brainspotting, somatic therapy, and trauma-informed approaches. Dr. Ward integrates neuroscience, nervous system regulation and consciousness-based psychology to help individuals process unresolved trauma, shift limiting beliefs, and access greater emotional resilience. Her work focuses on healing at the root, beyond symptom management, through brain-body therapies that create lasting change.

read more
Contact us

Phone/Fax: (619) 819-6841

Email: contact@authenticityassociates.com

Our office is located in Carlsbad, CA 92009

We also do nationwide sessions via Skype and FaceTime.

Please contact us for an appointment.

founders Dr. Hilary Strokes and Dr. Kim Ward sitting on large rocks with view of sunset at the sea

    We are offering a FREE 25 minute consultation

      Coupon code: save50