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Know Your Change Saboteurs to Achieve Your Goals

Change requires hope, faith and determination. You have got to give it all you’ve got if you really want to make a difference in your personal and professional goals. There is a great saying that illuminates this further, You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought Maybe this is taking it a bit too far, but there is definite truth in the fact that chronic pessimism is a real downer to achieving your goals.

Presence of Change Saboteurs

We support our clients to take the following steps;

1. Eaves drop on the conversation you are having with yourself paying special attention to the common change  saboteurs: unrealistic expectations, complaints, judgments, criticisms, projection and pessimism.

2. Increase your awareness of the presence of change saboteurs and the types of situations they arise in.

3. When you notice the presence of change saboteurs, ask yourself how you can use one of your personal strengths to help you achieve your goals in that moment. Make a conscious effort to use your personal strengths to stop self-sabotage.

Rule of Change

You can only change yourself. If you want to change someone else you can t. This is at the heart of the change saboteur, projection.If someone else changes because of something you said or did, then they chose to change vs. you making them change. The same rule of change applies in reverse. No one can make you change. You have to choose to change. People often give their power over to others in this area. They blame others for making them feel a certain way or making them do certain things. This leads to a pervasive sense of powerlessness in feeling capable to achieve your goals. Your mind understands this as others made you change vs. you having the ability to choose to change. This fundamental rule of change invites your presence to acknowledge your conscious choices. Whether you do something you like or don’t like say to yourself, I did that. I chose that. In the moment this may not make you feel very good if you have abandoned your goals for a healthy lifestyle program, however it will send a message to your mind that in the future you can choose differently. This is not about blame or self criticism. It is simply an acknowledgement of your freedom to choose to change.

Coaching and Counseling

Hilary Stokes Ph.D. and Kim Ward Ph.D. have been a team for 20 years, specializing in mind, body, spirit psychology. They are the authors of the bestselling books The Happy Map: Your roadmap to the habit of happiness and Manifesting Mindset: The 6-step formula for attracting your goals and dreams and founders of Authenticity Associates Coaching and Counseling. They are passionate about combining the best of holistic and traditional approaches to health and happiness. If you are interested in learning the answers to the most frequently asked questions on how to decrease stress and increase happiness sign up for their free video series.

About the Authors

Hilary Stokes Phd

Dr. Hilary Stokes is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in San Diego, California. Dr. Hilary received her PhD in psychology with a specialty in transpersonal psychology from San Diego University for Integrative Studies, a master’s degree in social work from San Diego State University and a master’s degree in Sport Psychology from San Jose State University. In addition to her ….

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Kim Ward Phd

Dr. Kim Ward received her PhD in psychology with a specialty in transpersonal psychology from San Diego University for Integrative Studies. She also holds a master’s degree in transpersonal psychology from John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California. Dr. Kim is a certified trauma-informed coach and life coach in private practice in San Diego, California. In…

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Our office is located in Carlsbad, CA 92009

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