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Get Out of Your Own Way

Getting In Your Own Way

A ship is safe in harbor but that is not what ships are for. ~ William Shedd

Purpose is positively correlated with three fundamental aspects of life experience; wealth, health and happiness. Why then are more people not on the purposeful path reaping these amazing benefits? As you set out on your quest of purpose and passion you may have to face certain aspects of yourself on the journey. Many people let these very things stop them before they ever truly get started. We call this getting in your own way.

Getting in your own way looks like;

  • Caring what people think
  • Allowing fear to act like interfear
  • Interpreting nerves, anticipation, excitement and butterflies as signals of threat or fear that stop you
  • Making the same choices while expecting different results
  • Believing that the conditions, circumstances and history of your life define you
  • Complaining, justifying and looking for the problem vs. going for the lesson and solution

Your Purpose Beach Ball

Have you ever taken a beach ball and suppressed it underwater? If so, do you remember how the beach ball used to constantly fight to break through the surface until finally it popped up from underneath the water? Do you recall how much effort it took to hold it under you as it wiggled from side to side? Think about how tired you became as the seconds wore on. Isn’t this exactly what happens when you deny the natural expression of your purpose and passion?  Just imagine the exhaustion you have accumulated while suppressing them. We invite you to get out of your own way by letting go of the beach ball and allowing your natural purpose to immerge.

When you get in your own way you increase stress and unhappiness. The solution is clear, get on purpose to get out of your own way. You have to grow yourself bigger than your excuses or fears. It was the famous stress doctor, Hans Selye who said, “The most significant strategy for dealing with stress is to pursue one’s aim in life.”

Questions to Get Out of Your Own Way

  1. How do your primary life goals invite you to be ‘bigger’ than you think you are and act in spite of fear?
  2. How will achieving your goals positively impact others or the world in general?
  3. What about contributing to others touches, moves or inspires you?
  4. How do your core strengths stimulate your passion for achieving your goals?
  5. Who inspires you to get out of your own way, be bigger than you think you are and act in spite of fear and why?

Coaching and Counseling

Hilary Stokes Ph.D. and Kim Ward Ph.D. have been a team for 20 years, specializing in mind, body, spirit psychology. They are the authors of the bestselling books The Happy Map: Your roadmap to the habit of happiness and Manifesting Mindset: The 6-step formula for attracting your goals and dreams and founders of Authenticity Associates Coaching and Counseling. They are passionate about combining the best of holistic and traditional approaches to health and happiness. If you are interested in learning the answers to the most frequently asked questions on how to decrease stress and increase happiness sign up for their free video series.

About the Authors

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Hilary Stokes Phd

Dr. Hilary Stokes is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in San Diego, California. Dr. Hilary received her PhD in psychology with a specialty in transpersonal psychology from San Diego University for Integrative Studies, a master’s degree in social work from San Diego State University and a master’s degree in Sport Psychology from San Jose State University. In addition to her ….

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Kim Ward Phd

Dr. Kim Ward received her PhD in psychology with a specialty in transpersonal psychology from San Diego University for Integrative Studies. She also holds a master’s degree in transpersonal psychology from John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California. Dr. Kim is a certified trauma-informed coach and life coach in private practice in San Diego, California. In…

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Our office is located in Carlsbad, CA 92009

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