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5 steps to become more emotionally aware and emotionally intelligent

Emotional Awareness

Master Your Emotions

In a previous post titled, Emotional Presence we covered the first step to master your emotions; Presence. Emotional Awareness is your second step to master your emotions. Emotional awareness and emotional presence go hand in hand. The more present you are, the more aware you are of your moment-to-moment mental, emotional and physical state. This subtle awareness allows you to make quality decisions that are based on your emotional intelligence and creative reasoning. Emotional awareness reflects not only your ability to recognize and understand your emotions in the moment but also your ability to understand your patterns of responding emotionally across situations. Emotional awareness is the window into transforming your skills of healthy emotional expression. Most people will do just about anything to avoid looking at their emotions. Suppression, denial and projection are common ways to avoid dealing with emotions and consequently represent low emotional intelligence.

Healthy Emotional Expression

In order to master your emotions you have to be willing to dive into the abyss and explore your emotional terrain. Healthy emotional expression calls on you to take an objective look at a situation and how you are feeling about it.

1. Make a commitment to develop your emotional awareness everyday.

2. At least three times per day practice the Presence Exercise (outlined in the Emotional Presence post)

3. Then ask yourself, How am I feeling? If you are unsure consider if you are mad, sad, glad, happy, afraid or some  variation of these primary emotions.

3. Notice where you feel this feeling in your physical body.

4. Identify any thoughts you are having regarding these feelings.

5. Identify the current situation you are experiencing related to these feelings.

Now that you are present and aware you are ready for the next step; develop your emotional expression skills by releasing and letting go of your feelings.

Coaching and Counseling

Hilary Stokes Ph.D. and Kim Ward Ph.D. have been a team for 20 years, specializing in mind, body, spirit psychology. They are the authors of the bestselling books The Happy Map: Your roadmap to the habit of happiness and Manifesting Mindset: The 6-step formula for attracting your goals and dreams and founders of Authenticity Associates Coaching and Counseling. They are passionate about combining the best of holistic and traditional approaches to health and happiness. If you are interested in learning the answers to the most frequently asked questions on how to decrease stress and increase happiness sign up for their free video series.

About the Authors

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Hilary Stokes Phd

Dr. Hilary Stokes is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in San Diego, California. Dr. Hilary received her PhD in psychology with a specialty in transpersonal psychology from San Diego University for Integrative Studies, a master’s degree in social work from San Diego State University and a master’s degree in Sport Psychology from San Jose State University. In addition to her ….

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Kim Ward Phd

Dr. Kim Ward received her PhD in psychology with a specialty in transpersonal psychology from San Diego University for Integrative Studies. She also holds a master’s degree in transpersonal psychology from John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California. Dr. Kim is a certified trauma-informed coach and life coach in private practice in San Diego, California. In…

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