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A digital illustration of a human brain with glowing connections emanating from it.

Discover why focusing on what you want is essential to attracting it into your life

Focus on What You Want to Get What You Want!

A digital illustration of a human brain with glowing connections emanating from it.How does your brain process language?  What happens if I say don't think about a problem?  Your brain doesn't know how to do this.  You have to think of something in order not to think about it.

Do you spend more of your time focused on what you want or what you don't want? People often tell us what not to do, thinking they are helping us, yet in actuality they are telling us to send our brain in the direction we don't wish to go.

You do the same to yourself by telling yourself what you don't want to think about.  Instead of stating what you don't want, state what you do want.

For example, rather than telling yourself, I won't miss another day of exercise or I won't get into another relationship like the last one, focus on what you DO want,I choose to exercise this afternoon or I want a healthy, loving relationship with good boundaries and emotional connection.

Your Thoughts Are Magnetic Attractors

Scientists have discovered that we are similar to radio transmitters, broadcasting our thoughts and feelings into the world. Your nonstop internal dialogue directly impacts your ability to transform your habits and tap into your performance potential.

Many would say the most important conversation you will ever have is the one you are having with yourself.  Combining this knowledge with the Law of Attraction you can easily see how you influence your performance and well-being.

According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like and what you focus on expands. Thus, when you focus on something, you broadcast a frequency that attracts its likeness to you. Don't think of a red rose. Seriously, don't let a red rose enter your mind. This is hard to do right? You have to think about it in order not to think about it.

Mother Teresa was known for not attending 'antiwar' rallies because they represent more of the energy of what she didn't want. She instead insisted, When you hold a peace rally, let me know!

Given that your thoughts and feelings are being broadcast into your life as prime creators of your experiences, how much time do you spend focused on messages that bring you more of what you want vs. what you don't want?

Coaching and Counseling

Hilary Stokes Ph.D. and Kim Ward Ph.D. have been a team for 20 years, specializing in mind, body, spirit psychology. They are the authors of the bestselling books The Happy Map: Your roadmap to the habit of happiness and Manifesting Mindset: The 6-step formula for attracting your goals and dreams and founders of Authenticity Associates Coaching and Counseling. They are passionate about combining the best of holistic and traditional approaches to health and happiness. If you are interested in learning the answers to the most frequently asked questions on how to decrease stress and increase happiness sign up for their free video series.

About the Authors

headshot of Dr. Hilary Stokes, licensed psychotherapist

Hilary Stokes Phd

HIlary Stokes, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist in California with more than 25 years of clinical experience, specializing in trauma therapy, PTSD treatment, anxiety, depression, and nervous system healing. She holds Master's degrees in Clinical Social Work and Kinesiology and Sports Psychology and a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology with a specialization in Tibetan Buddhist Psychology. Dr. Stokes is extensively trained and certified in brainspotting, EMDR, somatic therapy and other mind body approaches. Her integrative work bridges neuroscience, mindfulness, and holistic psychology to help clients process unresolved trauma, rewire stress patterns, and build emotional resilience.

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headshot of Dr. Kim Ward, certified trauma-informed coach and life coach

Kim Ward Phd

Kim Ward, Ph.D. holds both a masters and a doctorate in Transpersonal Psychology with a specialization in Tibetan Buddhist Psychology. She brings more than 25 years of experience in trauma recovery, Brainspotting and mind-body transformation. She is extensively trained and certified in Brainspotting, somatic therapy, and trauma-informed approaches. Dr. Ward integrates neuroscience, nervous system regulation and consciousness-based psychology to help individuals process unresolved trauma, shift limiting beliefs, and access greater emotional resilience. Her work focuses on healing at the root, beyond symptom management, through brain-body therapies that create lasting change.

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Contact us

Phone/Fax: (619) 819-6841

Email: contact@authenticityassociates.com

Our office is located in Carlsbad, CA 92009

We also do nationwide sessions via Skype and FaceTime.

Please contact us for an appointment.

founders Dr. Hilary Strokes and Dr. Kim Ward sitting on large rocks with view of sunset at the sea

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